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  • Writer's pictureScott Fitzgerald

Ways to self love

Hi there, Scott Fitzgerald here. I keep noticing in loads of different self help books about self love and how it is important to love yourself. These books are right of course it is important to self love, but these books don't really tell you how to self love.

It is important with self love to remember its not just the physical things you do for yourself but the mental things to. For example its no good going for a relaxing massage then feel guilty about spending the money on yourself or its no good treating yourself to a healthy meal then feel bad for not going to the gym. So I thought I would give you a list of ways to self love: 1. Get in touch with your inner dialogue The most important thing I find with self love is having positive,encouraging, supportive, loving and kind words that you believe and say about yourself on a daily basis. You deserve to be spoken to the same way your best friend or loving family would speak to you.

2. Stop comparing yourself to other's There is no one on the planet like you, just because someone can run faster than you or has more money than you do doesn't make them a better person, the only person you should compare yourself to is what you use to be.

3. End toxic relationships. Anyone who doesn't make you feel anything less than amazing doesn't deserve your time, your time is valuable and you should treat it so. This is a big ask I know, if you cant get rid of the toxic relationship for any reason then you should at least make a point of spending significantly less time with them.

4. Take time out to calm your mind. The world can be a very stressful place as everything in this day and age seems to be needed quickly and instant. Do yourself a massive favour and take time out everyday to calm your mind. Ideally meditate for 30 minutes a day twice a day. If you cant do this then do what you can, even if its just 10 minutes. Don't tell me you don't have 10 minutes, if you have time to watch tv, look on facebook and instagram or be on the phone to one of your toxic relationship friends then you have time for a 10 minute relaxing time.

5. Be patient, but persistent. Rome wasn't built in a day, self love needs to be practiced dailly but can take time to master it. A bad day is not the end of the world and occasionally you can fall into old self doubtful habits but being persistant will erase those days and build new positive habits. If you are working on a long term project for example and it feels its not getting anywhere, realise how far you come with it compared to last week, last month, last year.

6. Be realistic We are all human, we all make mistakes and we all feel emotions and this is okay.

If you are working on a project that you know will take time then its okay to push yourself but know your limitations to, there is no point over working yourself then be disappointed because you couldn't get all your work done that day. If you have a bad day, don't punish yourself the next day for it, just know tomorrow is another day. 7. Forgive yourself You cant change what you did in the past and its time to let go of this, the only person that it is punishing is yourself. You can only control the future and its time to create a new and improved life for yourself. 8. Reach out and talk to someone if you need help. You are not expected to go through tough times alone and being able to talk about your problems is an important act of self love.

If you would like my help with self love, reducing your anxiety or feeling more confident then call Oakley Hypnotherapy on 07525851033 to arrange a free initial consultation. Be kind to yourself and stay safe.

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