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  • Writer's pictureScott Fitzgerald

Social Anxiety - Take back control of your life

Hi, Scott Fitzgerald here. The date is the 25th of June 2020 and we have been told in less than 2 weeks the pubs and restaurants will be open again.

So how do you feel about this? Are you feeling excited and looking forward to socialising again or are you feeling anxious about it?

Does the thought of being out with loads of people scare you? Do you worry when you go out that no one will talk to you? Or do you worry that you won't enjoy yourself? Do you avoid going out entirely in fear of rejection from other people? Of course it is okay to feel a little anxious for health reasons as the corona virus is still about, but this anxiety protects you from getting ill, its the voices that tells you to stand 1 metre or more away from people and avoid hugging that man that's continually coughing. But if the anxiety you're feeling is the thought of socialising with people and seeing others then I am hear to tell you that it is okay to feel anxious and it is very common. Mild cases of social anxiety are fearing public speaking or being the centre of attention. Moderate cases can be avoiding big social gatherings in bars and clubs. Severe social anxiety can be avoiding any form of social interaction all together.

Let me tell you a little about my story, I use to be a shy kid when I was growing up. I use to keep myself to myself. I absolutely use to hate big social gatherings and avoided them at all costs, I would say that I was ill or busy or I just forgot about it.

When I turned 18 and my friends wanted to go to the bars and the nightclubs it always made me feel very anxious. I wasn't much like my friends as they were all extroverts. I am an introverted person (I am willing to bet that you are as well). Why did I hang around with these friends you may ask? Well I knew it wasn't doing me any good being how I was, I felt depressed and it got lonely being how I was. So I decided to hang around with very outgoing people to push me out of my comfort zone. The problem with this though was my thought process... The only way I thought I could be interesting to these people and get rid of my own anxiety was through alcohol. Alcohol combined with feeling depressed is a definite no no and would never end well. It would start off well, the alcohol would calm my anxieties, got me a bit talkative and got me into the bars and clubs without feeling anxious... After a bit of time though I would start feeling down, upset and angry at myself.

Remember though that was just bars and clubs, the dating world was a huge anxiety for me at that time. I never felt that I was good enough. It was such a shame because I look back on it now and I think I was such a good looking guy, there were probably loads of girls wanting to go on a date with me but I was too shy to ask or was just afraid to be myself around them because I was scared they would hate who I really was. It was only later on in life I discovered about hypnotherapy and how it can cure social anxiety that I really started feeling better in myself about going out. I really wish I done it sooner as I missed out on so much of my younger life being anxious when I really didn't need to be.

I also discovered when I was working on myself that I didn't need to be the centre of attention to be accepted into a group of friends. It was okay to just be me and who I am. Don't let social anxiety hold you back in life. Take back control and start enjoying socialising once again.

If you suffer with social anxiety, confidence issues or depression then please give Oakley Hypnotherapy a call on 07525851033 to book a free initial consultation.

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